Have you ever had to brief a best man’s speech, give a talk or write an obituary that will delight and not offend?

In that blisteringly brilliant film, Lion in Winter, Eleanor of Aquitaine casually remarks of her war-like husband and her patricidal offspring: “What family doesn’t have it’s ups and downs?”… Well, mine may not be as bad as hers, but we do have our own Mini-Minefield.

In November 2020, I was writing a eulogy following the death of one of my parents. Covid-19 restrictions made a funeral impractical in our case; so the eulogy had to be emailed, obituary-like, rather than delivered to a group on their best behaviour. On our contact lists were many people I did know, many I didn’t know, and then there was The Mini-Minefield.

My task in writing was to share my parent’s story, uncompromised and undiluted, in my personal tone of voice, without causing a family explosion.

And it went ok – in fact more than ok. All reports came back happy, moved and delighted to have been helped down a sunlit memory lane. Even The Minefield were “moved” and “touched” – but (thankfully) in a good, non-explosive way.

(Phew!)

On receiving warm and satisfied responses, and breathing a sigh of relief, it occurred to me how writing something like this to your family isn’t far removed from Individual Giving creative.  

Our aim is for one main thing to happen.  

For an appeal, you want the reader to make a gift. For an obituary you want the reader to be reminded of their own uplifting personal journeys with the dearly departed. (And then make a gift...)

On the way, whoever’s reading it might learn something new. That’s always a bonus. But your aim needs to be true, and so what you produce has to resonate.

As fundraisers and creatives, we often have to tread through mini-minefields on our way to the real targets. We have to get our creative past the brand team, even when the appeal demands that the brand has a bit of a stretch. The client’s senior stakeholders, the signatory, the case study – all and any one of these are there, ready and wired at best to dampen and at worst to blast your appeal to smithereens.

But what I learned from writing to the family in November 2020 was how, as long as you stay totally true to your aim, to the essence of your story, write to your humans like a human, and stay nimble enough to swerve round the mines, you can create some meaningful silver linings out of any cloud.

Thank you for everything, Mum xx